I am quite intrigued at the turmoil of my inner dialogue – a debate between lost voices and clinical ideology.
At what point does the human spirit crave mastery over the carnal shell of others?
What changes ones mentality to suit those around them, molding their thoughts into shadows of their former selves?
I labor under the delusion that “self-improvement is masturbation and self-destruction”…an answer to a primal call.[‘Fight Club’]
The point is that we have become so complacent in our idiosyncratic existence,devoid of the extreme circumstances that initially pushed our species to the top of the food chain.
We lie and cheat in the service of those no more virtuous than ourselves,believing a higher power exists to eventually purify us of our moral rebellions. We believe ruling over others, convincing people of ones individual truths somehow liberates us from the vanity of piousness.
I am trying-in every minute of my life to break down the facets that have defined me. Self-improvement doesn’t bode well for one living in a society that reverts positive change into a cycle of structuring insecurity.
My destruction will come in the discovering the truth. This is the truth that sent Alexander the Great on his adventure and built that thirst for knowledge. It is the truth that brought wars among nations and animosity within community. This is a truth that made the logic of Orion’s belt and the endlessness of a black whole. This truth is of the very definition of life. The fabric of existence, foiled in energy and a single intricate thought- To be!
These are the sober ramblings of a confused,albeit singularly unique mind possessing only enough intelligence to somehow allow one to exist in a dystopic world dripping with the fickle matter of depravity,frugality and amidst it all,irrevocable beauty in its essence.