I said to Mama I said

I said to Mama I said I wanna orbit the moon.
Mama always told me I’d master the galaxy.
I said to her: “Mama I wanna be a connoisseur”.
She said you are the flavor of life.
Mama asked me “Baby, what do you wanna be?”
I said Mama I wanna be me.

She told me stories of her life, laid her triumphs and transgressions at my feet.
She had climbed the tribulations of weighty challenges built in her path fortified monstrosities of belittling intent.

I once asked her if she gave up on her dreams for me.
She threw soapy suds of white into my eyes and said in love 20yrs founded that she had merely realized a new dream.
That was me.
I was the thing that brought her out of the shadows when grief and pressures burdened the smooth mounds of her earth-tone shoulders.

So I said to her I said
Mama you are the id that my existence is founded on. You are my primordial. I am helpless to the instinct that needs me to breathe. Live. You must survive.
Mama you are my everlasting projection of the idyllic – unchanged, unmarred by time or circumstance. You are the image of everything I hold sacrosanct.

I love you because I am at the cusp of making my dreams come true, truly realizing that you have never let me part with my ambition. My ideals. My sometimes jaded thought process.
You are the cheerleader waving from the side of the pitch.
You are the coach, the teacher, the counselor, the mentor.
You are the dream-weaver. The green-thumb cultivating the untamed wilderness of the wiles of a 20yr old girl with the heart of the sun and the brain of a multidimensional being of celestial intent.

So I say to you mother as you read this
I will never take you for granted.
You are one of the greatest individual entities ever to exist.
You will glide through St. Peter’s gates welcomed home like you haven’t been ruling over my heart like your own realm these many years.
With adoration, deep consideration, an unfathomable,immeasurable love.

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