Turning up: The #InnerCityWineRoute Adventure 2.0

So the folks at Tuning the Vine couldn’t get enough of me, and the sentiment is shared. So I decided to brave the cobbled sidewalks of Cape Town’s CBD and experience the #InnerCityWineRoute once again – just to ensure my opinions weren’t a singularity.

Splash PR gave Ollie the ticket hook-up and when did I start speaking in 3rd person? :/

Anyway, I rushed across town from work because half the experience of an event is arriving on time and getting the full package.

I saw familiar faces and familiar labels at 91 on Loop where my journey began. I realize now how very non-politically correct I was as the first thing I said to all the wine vendors was “I want the whites only”. Tehehehehe Oops! Hartenberg Estate’s “Alchemy” wine range was back this month, and I wet my palate with their Semillon Blanc this time, and it was actually rather drinkable I say, for a non-regular wine sipper.IMG_0035

Everson’s pumped up some cloudy apple cider for me, and I didn’t know I could branch out to other less gastric-distressing ciders on the regular – God bless Cape Town’s hipster brew culture!

Dressed in my Woolworth’s Sale item bests, I walked on over to House of Machines, and felt no affinity for those wines Raised by Wolves.IMG_0052

Diemersdal poured me some more Sauvignon Blanc at Heritage Square-based Signal Hill Winery, and once I did the appropriate wine tasting version of the sniff-and-taste test, I realized I absolutely abhor wine with those grassy elements.

I’ve got to admit the decor of the restaurant was beautiful and reminded me vaguely of the films ‘Inception’ and ‘Intersteller’s 4 dimensional optical illusion architecture.

Tokara was a little busy at their station, and I took a whiff of someones glass in passing and Boy!Are their white wines strongly scented.

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Biocape Wines sommelier told me that their wine is organic, and the first thing out of my mouth was “So it wont get me drunk?”. It seems unlikely that I’ll ever drink it again after suffering no feel good alcohol-tainted effects, nor any memorable feels at the taste.

The Chenin Blanc I sampled a heavy dose of, from Alma Mater by Lanzerac, was perfect for any discerning wine drinker, I admit. Though the unique bottle shape is likely to make me purchase it as a gift for someone, I would not deign to drink it myself for suffering its extremely tart and heavy green veggies and grass taste.

La Capra had me drinking wine on tap – how cool is that? Apparently the way they make wine, as well as pour it, is one-of-a-kind. I just think its cool enough to choke down a glass of.

I didn’t get a chance to sample Cavalli’s wines owing to the large crowds that had been eagerly anticipating this specific brands wines. I was drawn in by the name that called out to my fashion soul, and I stayed a minute for their gorgeous and smart aleck wine names – White Knight, Pink Pony, and Black Beauty.

AY CHARANGO! At Charango restaurant I found an artist and a Moveable Feast. The Drift Farm brought a different range of goodies for me to sample, and I rather liked the robust flavor because it left hardly an everlasting aftertaste. Tuning the Vine also brought the Cluver & Jack ciders that I couldn’t rave enough about last time – Its kind of the apple of my eye.

At this point in the night I was hopped up on about a liter worth of wine; and I hung out with a Satyr, a siren and a fairy, and I realize now that that is the perfect start to a supernaturally funny joke…or to anyone whose ever had some pure Absinthe.

The Gin Bar was there for the win when I entered their competition and won a selfie stick from Cointreau. I honestly prefer a bottle of their fizz because maaaaaan is that stuff tasty!IMG_0107

A pit stop at Bocca became necessary to my very well-being. Lacking in measurable wine tolerance meant food needed to get in me real quick and I was comfortably accommodated to a lovely seat overlooking the masses where I could lord my tipsiness over fellow Tuning the Viners.

I went in hard on a Porky’s Revenge pizza made of a tomato based pizza bread, mozzarella, ricotta, nduja (and what is that even?!), ground spiced pork belly, garlic and baby spinach. My friend had The Commercial, made of feta, avocado, bacon and mozzarella. Lemme tell you: the leftovers are all great when you wake up to the munchies after midnight like I did.

Stellenbosch-based Jordan wine had a forgettable tasting of some  white wine at Jason’s Bakery, and my tummy is still shouting at me for trying Innis & Gunn’s beer. I knew I wasnt a beer person and I don’t know why I tried to be…must have been #DrunkLogic.

Ernie Els’s “Big Easy” red wine range was big in flavor and slid easily down my throat. I received a warm welcome from Hermanuspietersfontein despite remembering their wines being forgettably bland. Petit’s Rose, Sumaridge’s Sauvignon Blanc, and KC’s Pinot Noir were a bouquet of loveliness to my senses, and the perfect way to conclude a wine adventure filled with giggles, good food and diverse wines.

A shout-out to some of the best, most unusual hipster joints in Cape Town’s Bree Street, namely: The Oddysey, Palma, Culture Club, Door 221, Bacon on Bree, Ojangles Gastropub, Orphanage Cocktail Emporium and Weinhaus & Biergarten.

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*Video reel of #InnerCityWineRoute 2.0!

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