Happy Easter my lovies.

I do hope you remembered the sanctity of these past days, and not reclined in lazy recovery mode, as I did.

Amid my heathen-adjacent vacation time, I took a minute to fuel up on some good grub. YEP! We got us another Cape Town Foodie Escapade. This time, I hit up The Royale Eatery.

Royale Eatery is a restaurant located within the central business district of Cape Town.

Over 50 gourmet burgers and counting

“What’s their deal?” you ask?!

The Royale Eatery maintains an unwavering focus on gourmet burgers. It’s like eating your way through a starved, frazzled Uni students wet dream.

The restaurant has been lauded as one of infamous Long Street’s, most prized dining haunts – despite the forgettable, narrow space it occupies near the streets end.

Their royal insignia is where the monarchical aspect of Royale Eatery ends. One enters the premises to a cafe-style hipster joint ; leaning towards a restaurant seating arrangement, whilst the rest of the quirky decor lends to the niche-lifestyle culture Cape Town eateries are synonymous for.

The Royale Eatery’s menu reads like a storybook education from which, all burger-loving taste buds need to graduate. Customers are privy to gourmet burgers made with classic ingredients, and options for the far-out palate. Try an ostrich patty burger, some onion & tomato jam, blue cheese, brie, jalapeno, or even chipotle sauce.

With 50 gourmet burgers and counting, I could go blue in the face, typing out the ingredient lists…so here’s what I ate, and whether it went IN!

My Meal

With 50 gourmet options, I had to ask the well-informed waitresses for recommendations. That conversation started along the lines of:

“So what would you recommend that’s good…not too spicey..like hot…but not hot…and yummy. Yes. Also, something that isn’t dry and stuff. Any ideas?”

Yeeeeeaaaah, I’m the worst at ordering.

Luckily, the waitress seems used to dealing with crazies, so I eventually ordered the Burgerac.

This burger is made up of a 160g basted beef patty topped with white cheddar, chipotle sauce and an onion & gherkin salsa. I got a side of everything (because gluttony is real.)

The menu recommends (yeah, it’s sentient and everything!) the Burgerac be devoured with a Citizen Alliance 500ml draught – but f*ck that because beer is gross, so a chilled white wine to accompany the meal, it was.

Verdict?

I get why it’s marked a favorite, on their menu. Everything comes together. Remember that episode of ‘How I met your mother’, where the cast roamed New York searching for Marshall’s perfect burger? Had it been set in Cape Town, this definitely would have been one of the burgers they sampled among their list of good burgers in the city. It’s not wholly a royal rumble of flavor, but its good enough to lunch with, should Prince Harry drop in.

Dessert

They got dessert folks. It’s a one-pager, but you’ve got to leave feeling atleast moderately happy with something like a Lindt chocolate brownie with ice cream. Here’s the thing, the Royale Eatery shakes are the go-to! I had a large double-thick Chocolate Brownie shake, which I tried and failed to drown myself in with all its tasty goodness.

Oowmygodowmygosh! It was gooey, and cold, and sweet in every way that doesn’t overwhelm when it comes to a shake. Guys, this is what you have when your meal hasn’t taken up every crevice of space in your tumtum.

Sooooo good.

I feel…indulged.

What about the vegetarians?

To the ones I’ll judge for not trying out something new, the Royale Eatery offers fish or chicken burger options too.

…AND rejoice ye of rabbit food palates, as they have vegan and vegetarian options.

I mean, its a gourmet burger joint(so come for their damn burgers) but Royale Eatery graciously offers patrons pizza options, as well as salads.

What of the drinks & booze?

Royale Eatery knows what makes a solid dining experience, as one can team their gourmet burger with a selection of beverages.

 They got a full bar for customers, with a rather nice wine selection, some cocktails, as well as craft and local beers.

Yay boozers!

*P.S: There are soft drinks, juice and water for the non-boozers.

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Service is slow at the eatery – I care not to find out whether its due to the weathering crowds or a time-consuming meticulousness in the kitchen; but once you’re in the restaurant, you cannot leave once the smells get you ensnared. Grin and bear the time it takes to get your food. Atleast the waitresses eventually get attentive enough to occupy you with questions, suggestions and stuff (table cleaning and welcoming smiles…no funny business).

Royale Eatery get’s an all-round 7/10.

“At the base level, a burger is a piece of meat and a bun with something on it. It’s simple but it seems to make a lot of people happy.” – Danny Meyer

Royale Eatery

273 Long Street, Cape Town, South Africa, 8000

info@royaleeatery.com
021 422 4536

Mon-Sat: 12 – 23:20pm